I was just having a conversation with Chloe and her little friend Kylee. I'd said it was time to go, and Kylee was trying to talk me out of it. I told her what I needed from her and that I wasn't going to argue about it. Just then, Chloe stood up straight, put her index finger in the air, and said:
"My mom does NOT argue with kids."
It's true. Kylee listened, and I patted Chloe on the head.
She knows.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Clever Chloe
Last night Chloe asked Abby during dinner if she was going to be able to "goofy read" for her at bedtime. Abby said she wasn't sure because it actually took a lot of brain power to think up all the words and energy to keep up with the stories. Chloe said okay.
Then she said, "Abby come here for a minute... closer... closer..." She stood up on her chair.
She began reaching in the front pocket of Abby's shirt with both hands... then she started putting "something" in Abby's ear.
Abby let her do it for a minute or so before asking "What are you putting in my ear?"
Chloe said "Thinking Power - so you can goofy read!"
Abby and I both started laughing with glee. She was so clever.
It was too much for Chloe though, she got upset and ran to the couch. We'd embarrased her and surprised her with our loud and fast reaction.
Abby went to her on the couch and explained why we were laughing - because we love her and are so impressed with her sometimes... it makes us laugh because we are so happy.
We were NOT laughing AT her... poor thing. But man, it was so dang cute.
Then she said, "Abby come here for a minute... closer... closer..." She stood up on her chair.
She began reaching in the front pocket of Abby's shirt with both hands... then she started putting "something" in Abby's ear.
Abby let her do it for a minute or so before asking "What are you putting in my ear?"
Chloe said "Thinking Power - so you can goofy read!"
Abby and I both started laughing with glee. She was so clever.
It was too much for Chloe though, she got upset and ran to the couch. We'd embarrased her and surprised her with our loud and fast reaction.
Abby went to her on the couch and explained why we were laughing - because we love her and are so impressed with her sometimes... it makes us laugh because we are so happy.
We were NOT laughing AT her... poor thing. But man, it was so dang cute.
Child led parenting
At different times and for different reasons I've realized how much I personify this idea. I never really knew what "kind" of mom I would be until I met Chloe. In so many ways, she's taught me as much as I've taught her. And I am quite certain, I'd be a completely different mom if she were a different child. Just as many parents 'parent' each of their children differently, according to what resonates with them. A prime example for Chloe is the intensity that works well with her. It seems, the more loud or firm I am with her, the more she crumbles and "misbehaves". Yet, when I stay calm, somewhat quiet and 'gentle', she responds -most of the time- fairly quickly. Calm, quiet, and gentle never equal over-indulgent or inconsistent. Actually, I'd say that I'm personally less likely to remain consistent when I'm harsher or loosing my patience, than any other time.
Most often, the warning of my pending "firmness" is enough to straighten her up.
Ex: "Chloe... I've asked you nicely, and now I'm asking you again- please do it. Next time I'll be firm with you."
Or as simple as "Would you like me to be firm with you?"
Most of the time, my "firm" is a louder, stronger voice with less options and less information. More like - do it now, because I said. She's not usually happy about it, but she had her chances- she knows it- and I never "change my mind."
Sometimes I forget all of this. I get frustrated or upset with her behavior and loose my patience. (honestly, this mostly happens when I'm tired or stressed out). Most often, those are the days we feed each others bad feelings and it takes some doing to turn it around. It's tough sometimes to suck up and be the adult and change MY energy before I can expect her to change hers. These are also some of the days I cherish Abby and knowing we are together parenting Chloe. She is so wonderful helping me recognize and change in those times. She gives me a soft place to land and strong support.
I also, make it a point to talk to Chloe when I've acted out of character. I try to explain, as best I can to a 6year old, how my hard feelings get the better of me sometimes, too. I always make sure she knows I love her no matter what, and nothing is her fault. (kids always think things are all their fault).
She always forgives me right away and sometimes cries a bit, with relief.
This is important for me for a couple reasons: First, so I don't break her spirit or her trust (feelings of safety) in me. Second, so she sees me doing the things I expect her to do. She learns by my example that everyone makes mistakes, and they can be fixed. She hears my language and uses it at other times. It's a beautiful thing.
Luckily, this stuff comes naturally for me, and it works wonders for Chloe.
Hopefully, we can both move through the world more gracefully because of each other. She's already made me a better person.
Most often, the warning of my pending "firmness" is enough to straighten her up.
Ex: "Chloe... I've asked you nicely, and now I'm asking you again- please do it. Next time I'll be firm with you."
Or as simple as "Would you like me to be firm with you?"
Most of the time, my "firm" is a louder, stronger voice with less options and less information. More like - do it now, because I said. She's not usually happy about it, but she had her chances- she knows it- and I never "change my mind."
Sometimes I forget all of this. I get frustrated or upset with her behavior and loose my patience. (honestly, this mostly happens when I'm tired or stressed out). Most often, those are the days we feed each others bad feelings and it takes some doing to turn it around. It's tough sometimes to suck up and be the adult and change MY energy before I can expect her to change hers. These are also some of the days I cherish Abby and knowing we are together parenting Chloe. She is so wonderful helping me recognize and change in those times. She gives me a soft place to land and strong support.
I also, make it a point to talk to Chloe when I've acted out of character. I try to explain, as best I can to a 6year old, how my hard feelings get the better of me sometimes, too. I always make sure she knows I love her no matter what, and nothing is her fault. (kids always think things are all their fault).
She always forgives me right away and sometimes cries a bit, with relief.
This is important for me for a couple reasons: First, so I don't break her spirit or her trust (feelings of safety) in me. Second, so she sees me doing the things I expect her to do. She learns by my example that everyone makes mistakes, and they can be fixed. She hears my language and uses it at other times. It's a beautiful thing.
Luckily, this stuff comes naturally for me, and it works wonders for Chloe.
Hopefully, we can both move through the world more gracefully because of each other. She's already made me a better person.
Big feelings
We work with Chloe a lot to help manage her bigger than life feelings. Sometimes they are so intense they overwhelm all of us. The main message we try to get across is that everyone can have big feelings, we love her the same all the time, and she can learn to manage her feelings so she doesn't feel out of control. Mostly, what works best for Chloe is to separate herself until she calms down a bit before talking through the issue right away. As she gets older, calming down by herself seems to be the best. We've have many, many, many occasions of walking her through this process with varied results. It's no surprise that a young child having bigger than life feelings would have a hard time following directions, even if they are in her best interest. :)
Just the other day, Chloe was trying to help Abby, but was instead making it more difficult for her. Abby asked Chloe to stop what she was doing. Chloe immediately began to cry and (literally) ran screaming to her bedroom. Abby and I were both a bit surprised at what seemed to be an over-reaction. We decided we'd wait to see what happened. Chloe cried in her bedroom for a few minutes before sniffling her way back down the stairs. She walked right up to Abby and asked if she could talk to her. When Abby said yes, Chloe said: "I was really trying to help you when you told me to stop, an it really hurt my feelings." then they had a conversation about it, Abby thanked her for trying to help, and told her that sometimes she's going to have to tell her to stop what shes doing- but that she Always appreciates her effort and always loves her. Chloe cried a little more in relief, and they started to goof off and laugh.
I was so incredibly impressed with Chloe doing exactly what she knew how to do. She didn't ask or need me to help her. She wasn't embarrassed to say how she felt or approach the situation... I've been so puffed up and proud about this since it happened.
Seeing the two of them continuing to bond and build their relationship is literally the light of my life and the highlight of my days.
Seeing Chloes emotional skills surpass most adults I know, is both impressive and gratifying.
She regularly gets compliments on being such an articulate kid.
I'm happy and proud to be her mom.
Just the other day, Chloe was trying to help Abby, but was instead making it more difficult for her. Abby asked Chloe to stop what she was doing. Chloe immediately began to cry and (literally) ran screaming to her bedroom. Abby and I were both a bit surprised at what seemed to be an over-reaction. We decided we'd wait to see what happened. Chloe cried in her bedroom for a few minutes before sniffling her way back down the stairs. She walked right up to Abby and asked if she could talk to her. When Abby said yes, Chloe said: "I was really trying to help you when you told me to stop, an it really hurt my feelings." then they had a conversation about it, Abby thanked her for trying to help, and told her that sometimes she's going to have to tell her to stop what shes doing- but that she Always appreciates her effort and always loves her. Chloe cried a little more in relief, and they started to goof off and laugh.
I was so incredibly impressed with Chloe doing exactly what she knew how to do. She didn't ask or need me to help her. She wasn't embarrassed to say how she felt or approach the situation... I've been so puffed up and proud about this since it happened.
Seeing the two of them continuing to bond and build their relationship is literally the light of my life and the highlight of my days.
Seeing Chloes emotional skills surpass most adults I know, is both impressive and gratifying.
She regularly gets compliments on being such an articulate kid.
I'm happy and proud to be her mom.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
School Open House
Chloe took me to her open house at her school. She got to show me all through her classroom, and introduce me to her teacher. She was very proud to show me her song book with coloring and writing. She showed me this chamelion she'd painted and some of her other projects displayed around the room.
I was so pleased and surprised to see Chloe so excited and affectionate toward her teacher. Mrs. Noyse. She very regularly draws pictures for her and wants to bring her little presents. Whenever Chloe doesn't finish an assignment in class, she tells her teacher she will bring it home to finish. This happens fairly frequently because Chloe is very deliberate about how she does her assignments. She works slowly and makes sure to do things "just right". Sometimes she likes to bring it back to school to show that she'd done it.
The "Awesome-ness"
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
"the goofy read"
Lately at bedtime, Chloe has been asking Abby to head her books. That's because Abby does "the goofy read". She chooses words throughout the book to change into something funny. Sometimes it's words like: fart, eyeball, pit sweat, foot stink, pickle juice... Sometimes it's words like: gothabalkablish, kafly-cala, flookinkiki, etc.
I'm telling you, sometimes it gets so funny we are all three laughing to tears, especially when, in her haste to come up with something quickly, Abby says a word that's especially funny to us adults. Then she tries to cover it up a bit and bring it back to kid level. Once she said boobie tassels. Chloe had no idea. In last nights book, the main character "put his sandwich keychain in the bathtub so it would grow".
We are thinking about getting some mad libs and starting to teach Chloe about nouns and verbs. She'll eat it up. I absolutely adore watching the two of them play and interact. I have a permanent smile when they are goofing off. We cherish our time as a family, even if it's just a couple hours before bed.
I'm telling you, sometimes it gets so funny we are all three laughing to tears, especially when, in her haste to come up with something quickly, Abby says a word that's especially funny to us adults. Then she tries to cover it up a bit and bring it back to kid level. Once she said boobie tassels. Chloe had no idea. In last nights book, the main character "put his sandwich keychain in the bathtub so it would grow".
We are thinking about getting some mad libs and starting to teach Chloe about nouns and verbs. She'll eat it up. I absolutely adore watching the two of them play and interact. I have a permanent smile when they are goofing off. We cherish our time as a family, even if it's just a couple hours before bed.
Gymnastics
Chloe started her gymnastics class this week, Monday. Shell took her to her first class.
This pic was taken as they were lining up to jump in the foam pit. I hope to get plenty more photos before classes are done.
So far Chloe has done soccer, swimming, gardening, and gymnastics. She stuck with swimming for a couple classes, we'll see if she likes gym as well. She had mentioned something about dance lessons... its fun to see her exploring different things.
This pic was taken as they were lining up to jump in the foam pit. I hope to get plenty more photos before classes are done.
So far Chloe has done soccer, swimming, gardening, and gymnastics. She stuck with swimming for a couple classes, we'll see if she likes gym as well. She had mentioned something about dance lessons... its fun to see her exploring different things.
Fantastic Chloe!
Chloe has been a dream lately! She's priding herself on good behavior. She is attending the YMCA after school program. Sheymus, the group leader says he wishes all the children were like her. She is respectful and includes all the kids, and is super articulate. He joked about not being sure if he was really talking to a first grader.
Yesterday, Grandma Kris picked her up from YMCA until we could make it there. She had such high reviews from YMCA and from Kris that Abby gave Chloe all of her marbles at once!!!! And she got a chocolate pop before we came home!!!
I'm feeling so proud of her these days!
Yesterday, Grandma Kris picked her up from YMCA until we could make it there. She had such high reviews from YMCA and from Kris that Abby gave Chloe all of her marbles at once!!!! And she got a chocolate pop before we came home!!!
I'm feeling so proud of her these days!
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