Shana posed a question about talking to young kids about acceptance, celebrating the differences in people, etc.
This morning my thoughts are this:
I've talked to Chloe a lot about this stuff. What I've come to think is: any thing I can think to say to her about "differences are beautiful" have mostly been lost. I think maybe those concepts are too big. Talking doesn't do much for opening their little minds. If we point out and talk about differences in people, we are still bringing more attention to differences than accepting them as normal, acceptable, and good. The things that help the most are actually LIVING the message. Spending time around "differences", modeling behavior, and taking away the novelty goes a long way. No matter what we say about differences in people being normal, it will never be true for them until it's actually true in their lives. Just the other day, Chloe saw a picture of a baby with a cleft pallet on the computer and said it was gross. Of course I told her what it was, and that it wasn't gross. I explained how it happens and how it's treated, she understood and didn't think it was gross anymore. But I've had that same conversation with her a few times before in her life, about the same thing. I suspect it will always be a bit weird, shocking and yes even "gross" until she has a real life experience to pull from. And it's tough, I mean, it's impossible to go make friends with and spend time with enough people who embody all differences. So, we can continue to talk about things in an open and accepting way, and hope it begins to stick at some point. In the meantime, we can lovingly point out and celebrate our (relatively slight) differences among us in our immediate families.
My goal for Chloe is that she grows up around people who unyieldingly show openmindedness and and graceful acceptance of differences and she will learn the way to be and the way to approach differences in her own life. I suppose at some point she'll be privy to the opposite and likely feel and see the pain caused by judgement. Of course it makes me sad to think of her ever experiencing pain... It helps to know she'll have a good reference point in the world and a soft place to land. I will always strive to be that for her.
